An Oilers Prayer

Our father, who art in Edmonton,
Hockey be thy name.
Thy will be done, the Cup be won
On ice, as well as in the stands.
Give us this day our hockey sticks
And forgive us our penalties
As we forgive those who cross-check against us.
Lead us not into elimination
But deliver us to victory.
In the name of the fans,
Lord Stanley and the holy Oilers.
Amen.

God made man before woman

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

God, please...

As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

Email from God

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said? .....

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

Feet and Knees Together

FEET AND KNEES TOGETHER!!!
- Skiers' & Virgins' Prayer