Showing posts with label Bloopers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bloopers. Show all posts
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
We are but dust??
"Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Church Bloopers
* PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."
* The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
* Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
* Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
* Mrs. Charlene Smith sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
* The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
* This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
* The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
* Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
* Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
* Mrs. Charlene Smith sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
* The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
* This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
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